Unconditional Love

I believe that each individual loves in a different way and that how we love is learned from the people we are surrounded by.  I for one feel lucky that I have some of the most caring people as parents.  I have watched my mom over the years take her vow to my father ‘in sickness and in health’ very seriously.  As my father struggled with continual medical problems stemming from a fall off a ladder and broken leg my mother was with him every step of the way.  She was with him through the 11 successive surgeries and the many complications that followed.  I have watched her love with no restriction and without question take it upon herself to nurse him back to health just as I am sure my father did when she was recovering from breast cancer years ago.

I again experienced this kind of love recently with my grandmother.  We moved my maternal grandmother to Chico after my grandfather passed about seven years ago.  She was never fond of the idea of moving, but we finally convinced her it was in her best interest.  At the time my siblings and I were not incredibly close with her.   We only saw her on rare visits, but fortunately we were able to get to know her once she moved closer to us.  My mother and my grandmother had somewhat of a strained relationship, but my mother did what she could to care for her mother as best she knew, once again with no hesitation.  Recently, she would spend her days going over to her mother’s house to help her with daily activities like eating and showering. 

I remember my father and my grandmother struggled to agree with each other when I was growing up.  They attempted to bond over the small things they had in common like drinking their black coffee and having similar political views.  I know they may have had their issues, but it was touching to watch my father doing all he could to fight for my grandmother, in her final days, to have the best medical care possible.  He never once stopped to think about the times they may not have seen eye to eye but instead showed his love by fighting for her to get everything she needed. 

Sometimes people can make it hard for us to love them and sometimes it is hard to understand how people show their love.  Each individual is different.  As we continue to go through my grandmothers personal affects we are shown the ways she loved us.  She kept nearly every letter any of us had ever written her and spent the few extra dollars she had donating to the Olympic Committee in support of my dreams. 

As I get older and continue to learn about myself and the people around me I feel fortunate that I learned how to love from my parents.  I can only hope that when put in similar situations I am able to love as unconditionally as they have. 

College didn't teach me everything

Over the years I have used my Exercise Biology degree from the University of California, Davis in various unorthodox ways. I use it daily in my bobsled training to get bigger, faster and stronger. Or at least this is how I justify the investment to my parents.  There are, however, many times I wonder about all the things I did not learn in college.  Some times I look around and wonder what the heck I am doing and what in the world would have prepared me for my life now.  Most would think I am talking about sliding down and icy mountain at 80 plus miles per hour on a daily basis, but what I am really talking about is the before, after and everything in between.

The behind the scenes work for a bobsled brakeman is definitely not glamorous.  We are responsible for much of the sled work and for transporting the sled to and from the track each day of training.  Never did I think my life would consist of driving a manual sled truck in the snowy French Alps. Or did I think that learning how to put chains on would be imperative in transporting sleds in the bobsled world. I often wonder if the snow chain course was in the UCD course manual next to the tractor driving class I always meant to take but never got the chance too.

Fortunately, I have a father that required his girls to first pass the "Azevedo driving test" before we were able to actually get our drivers license. This test included being fully proficient in driving a stick shift vehicle up and down the windy 20 mile road to Paradise, California which has been incredibly useful.  The test, however failed to include the snow and every detail that is involved with it.  Being from California this was never something that I have had to be familiar with, but in bobsled it is something that I constantly deal with.  Over the last 7 years I have been forced to learn the ins and outs of driving in the snow, but still every now and again the California driver in me comes out and we have to push the truck out of a snow bank…. 

When I move on with my life and am done with bobsled I am confident that I will be able to accomplish any thing life throws at me.  I have learned that it may be scary at first, but with practice and the willingness to learn anything is possible.  Heck, I may even be able to teach the snow chain 101 course at UCD. 

Believe it or not this was actually not my doing!  At least we all know how to push!

You're only cheating yourself..

Recently there have been a number of international bobsled athletes testing positive for banned substances.  It is hard to ever envision how one can convince themselves that taking a performance enhancing drug is first physically safe and second fair to the rest of their competition that chooses to compete clean.  I guess the lure of competing at the Olympic Games somehow allows athletes to forget personal morals and to cheat.  I have heard the argument before that athletes feel that in certain sports all athletes use performance enhancing drugs and it is a matter of who has the better drugs.  To me, I don’t believe this to be a valid argument, but instead an excuse and an attempt to justify cheating.

A friend of mine once did a survey where she asked people would you rather win and Olympic gold medal on drugs knowing you would never be caught or have a million dollars given to you?  Surprisingly most people answered they would rather win a gold medal.  It was shocking the lengths that people were willing to go for an Olympic medal.  To me, an Olympic experience or even an Olympic medal is not worth living my life knowing that I have played unfairly or have cheated.  I want to win knowing that I did it 100 percent out of blood, sweat and tears.  Even if that day does not end up happening for me I know that I am going to leave this sport with my morals in tact. 

Stop and smell the roses

As an athlete I am constantly striving for more.  I always want to run faster or to lift heavier so that I am able to perform at the highest possible level.  I think that is what pushes me to be great, but can also be considered one of my greatest downfalls.  It is important as an athlete to not only push yourself, but also equally important to appreciate each and every road block and the gains made along the way. This is something that is easy for me to say to other athletes, but a lot harder for me to put in practice. 

When I first started sliding I remember feeling very insecure about how weak and small I was compared to the other athletes.  I remember being in Germany and having to share a squat rack with the Canadian women and being mortified when I had to ask them to take off  weight so that I could work in with them.  I had always considered myself a pretty decent athlete.  I had a successful college track and field career, but this sport was a whole new beast for me.  I went home after that day in the weight room and I cried my eyes out. I felt so inadequate and knew that I had a long road in front of me if I was going to have a chance of becoming an Olympian.  I vowed that day that I would never feel that way in the weight room again.  I guess I have not really stopped to appreciate those days back in 2007 when I was a quiet, scared, 23 year old girl taking on what felt like an intangible dream.  I have come a long way since those days.  I am now known more for my strength and have transformed my body to a more ideal shape for a bobsled push athlete.  Of course our sport is constantly evolving and growing and I am always pushing myself to be the best I am capable of, but as I mature as an athlete and a person I am learning to reflect on the path that has gotten me to this point.  It is a path full of bumps, bruises, tears and a whole hell of a lot of hard work, but one that I would never change.   

Competition Produces Excellence

I am the second of four girls.  My older sister, Amber, is only thirteen months older then me, so course we were very competitive growing up.  I remember always trying to out do her and live up to all of her accomplishments.  Amber, who is now well sought after high school teacher, is very intelligent and one of the more naturally gifted athletes I have known.  In high school she received high grades and was a stand out athlete, which was often hard for me to live up to.  At the time I didn’t really know it, but reflecting back I realize that she is a major reason I am the athlete I am in today.  I was often discouraged when we were younger and we would race in our backyard.  This was tradition started by my Grandmother when every Christmas my cousins and I would try and beat her in a foot race for a prize!

Luckily I was able to beat my Grandmother, but I am not sure if I was ever able to beat my sister.  This was something very small that continued to push me.  I worked very hard to keep up with her athletic gift.  The work ethic I learned helped me be successful in high school and college athletics and is something I still carry with me in the Bobsled world.  I believe that with hard work anything can be possible… I think it may be time to challenge my sister to a race again!  

An athletes financial woes

The life of an elite athlete is not always as glamorous as it sounds.  It is a life of financial struggle and sacrifice.  I have been very fortunate in the past years to have the support of Amory and In The Arena as well as the support of the Olympic Committee through training center housing.  Not all Olympic athletes are lucky enough to have this kind of support and have to do whatever it takes to find the funding to take their training to the next level.

A friend of mine, Liz, an all around awesome person and incredible discus thrower just recently moved to Portland to work with a high level discus coach.  She placed an honorable 5^th at the Olympic Trials and now is making this move to intensify her training and make a solid push for Rio 2016.  On top of a costly move Liz also needs to pay for her housing, food, training and recovery tools.  One would think that being ranked 5^th in the nation would warrant some kind of financial support, but unfortunately she is still stuck right outside of the money. 

It is incredible to me that most Olympians and Olympic hopefuls live below the poverty line and have to almost beg friends and family to help fund a dream.  Many athletes like Liz look for odd jobs like paper routes, flower delivering and late night shelf stocking that fit in with training and recovery.  It is essentially like trying to be successful at two full time jobs, which is virtually impossible.  This is the major divider of Olympic and professional sports.  One is the pure pursuit of a dream and the other is a paycheck facilitating a dream. 

Back to Work

The leaves are started to change and the weather is beginning to get chilly.  To me this can be related to one thing; the start of bobsled season.  It is always hard to believe that the summer is already gone and we are back in Lake Placid getting ready for another year.  Each year seems to fly by faster then the one before.  Every year that I spend in Colorado the harder it is for me to leave.  I have grown to love Colorado along with the incredible staff at the Olympic Training Center.  It feels that as soon as I finally get use to being in one place for longer than a few weeks it is already time to get on the road and get back to work.  As I said my goodbyes on Friday one of the kitchen staff handed me a sack lunch to bring on the plane with all of my favorite items.  Those are the little things that make me love the family I have gained in Colorado.

I am just as sad to go as I am excited to get the season off and running.  I love the off season training, but it can sometimes be boring not being able to actually get on ice every week and do our sport.  We use the off season to make as many gains physically on the running track and in the weight room that we can.  It is nice when we finally get to hit the ice and show off everything we have gained throughout the summer. 

The season starts with a number of sprint and lifting test along with a single push on the dry land push track to rank each brakeman.  After that is complete we begin to slide on ice and eventually have two team selection races.  All of these tests will be evaluated and the National Team is named.  It can be an intense process, but is a necessary evil to find the best athletes to represent the U.S.A on the World Cup circuit.